


Ninja(s?)

by Molly_Hats



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Conversations, Crack, Gen, More than the usual amount of ninjas, Semantics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly_Hats/pseuds/Molly_Hats
Summary: “GUYS!” Tam hissed as loudly and sharply as she dared.  She peeked through the crack underneath the closet door, watching shoes cross the light.  “It doesn’t matter, just get over here!”I’m going to die while these two nutcases argue over the correct plural for “ninja.”





	Ninja(s?)

**Author's Note:**

> For Supes, because a) I wanted to make sure you saw this as it’s your Ship and b) you seemed to be having issues and I’m bad at emotions, so I thought maybe you could have an unrelated pick me up.

“Send backup, it’s ninjas,” Tam muttered into the comm. “And no, I’m not used to it yet, I don’t care how long I’ve been here!”

“Don’t you mean ‘ninja’?” Tim piped up.

“Only you could have that messed up of priorities,” came another voice on the line.

“Thanks, Steph.”

“Besides, she’s right, it’s ‘ninjas.’”

“Um...”

“I’ve translated enough on the subject from Japanese to know it’s ‘ninja,’ trust me.”

“But we Americanized it!”

“Americanization doesn’t work all the way, and ‘ninjas’ sounds stupid.”

“GUYS!” Tam hissed as loudly and sharply as she dared. She peeked through the crack underneath the closet door, watching shoes cross the light. “It doesn’t matter, just get over here!”

“We’re coming,” Tim and Steph said in near unison.

 _Great. I’m going to die while these two idiots argue semantics._ Several minutes later, Tam heard the sounds of a scuffle—grunting, occasional screams, and things getting hit by other things. Something rattled her door, sounding like a body getting slammed into it, and she scrambled backward.

She began to pick out voices: Tim’s and Steph’s, with occasional accompaniment.

“Aren’t ninjas supposed to be quiet?”

“Ninja.”

“Hey, why don’t we ask them?”

“We’re on a mission here.”

“Hey, mister ninja? In English, is it ‘ninja’ or ‘ninjas?’ It’d be great if you could settle it for us, as a ninja yourself.”

Tam rolled her eyes. 

“Look, Ra’s al Ghul leads a bunch of them and he calls them ninja.”

“And if Ra’s jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

“Hey, I consulted an expert on terminology just like you tried with that guy. How is that okay and getting the biggest guy in assassination around is not?”

The fight moved down the hallway. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

“The heck does that mean?”

Steph’s voice took on a new tone even as it faded with range, implying her question was addressed to a new person. “I have a question for you, ninja guy: is it ‘ninja’ or ‘ninjas’?” 

The unconscious body of one of the goons blocked the space under the door. Tam opened up her phone and shot Luke a quick text. “ _I might be late for dinner. Got into a rousing discussion_.”

“ _What about?_ ”

“‘ _Ninja’ vs ‘ninjas_ ’”

“ _Ninjas._ ”

Tam audibly groaned and lowered her phone. “ _Not you, too!_ ”

“ _here, I’ll ask Tiff, she’s a genius._ ”

A new text came in, and Tam clicked over to another chat. “ _I can’t believe Luke seriously says it’s ‘ninjas.’_ ”

Tam closed the app and rolled her eyes. 

“Ta—Uh, Ms. Fox? Where are you?” 

“In here!” Tam yelled back at Steph. 

There was a grunting and shoving noise, the sound of cloth sliding along the floor, and the light slowly came back by degrees, like an eclipse ending. The door swung open, and Tam blinked in the sudden light. 

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Tam quipped. “Did you finally solve your dispute?” 

Steph and Tim looked at each other, Tam barely making out the shapes of their faces. 

“We were gonna let you decide,” Steph said. 

Tam groaned and flopped onto her back, covering her eyes to rest from the light. 

“We could also...consult Babs?” Tim offered. 

“Sure. That. Sounds great.” Tam stuck out a hand. “Help me up?” 

The two of them helped haul her to her feet. 

“We’d better get the ninjas downtown,” Steph said. 

“Ninja,” Tim muttered under his breath. 

Tam sighed. “Go. I’ll clean up here.” 

Once they were gone, a figure detached itself from the shadows and slowly moved toward the seemingly oblivious Tam. It approached, a hand reaching out for her hair, closer, closer, reaching for the sword at its belt… 

Tam grabbed the hand and twisted it, kneeing the figure in the gut. After a brief struggle involving swords, nunchucks, a pencil, a stapler, and a ledger, Tam finally emerged victorious. She pushed her low heel into the ninja’s face. 

“I should thank you for attacking alone,” Tam said. “Now I don’t need to worry about starting Workd War III when I tell everyone.” 

The ninja groaned. 

“Although...you wouldn’t tell me whether the plural is ‘ninja’ or ‘ninjas?’ Asking for a friend.” 

The ninja remained silent. 

“Didn’t think so. I wouldn’t get in the middle of it either, if I were you.” 


End file.
